Croatia

We flew into Dubrovnik on Friday afternoon, and were super excited. We organised a transfer to our hostel so it was nice and trouble free getting to our place. We booked a 4 bed room which turned out to be a 4 bed apartment with views over Dubrovnik harbour. Alison and I made ourselves at home and waited for Sarah and Omit. Omit was due about 5, and Sarah at about 7. We decided to cook dinner, and stock up the fridge and get ready for their arrival. 5 came and went. 6 came and went. 7 came and went. 10 came and went and still no sign of them. At about 11 we were a little concerned that we hadn’t heard from either. Just after 11 Sarah almost busted down the door and it was a happy reunion for all. PLUS Sarah came carrying our laptop, fixed and now back online after 8 weeks off line (thanks dad, and Sarah). Still no sign of Tim though. Not 5 minutes after Sarah’s arrival Tim came trudging up the stairs, beer in hand, looking like death. The story goes that Sarah’s plane was delayed, and her transfer was nowhere to be seen, so she had to catch a bus, and had little to no idea where she was – and of course we didn’t have a phone. Tim, well his 8 hour bus – took 15 hours. Sorted. We drank away the evening catching up on all sorts, and finally when it hit 2:30 we thought we should head to bed.

We spent the following few days hanging out on the beach in Dubrovnik and drinking heavily. The hostel owner had let us know that there was “big party” on the beach on Saturday night. So after an afternoon of relaxing seaside with several pints, and dinner and drinks at home, we walked down to rock out with the Croatian pop stars along the beach. Omit and I stood nursing our beers admiring the singers and dancers and watching as 400 Croatians sang along to all songs, bar one, which was by Whitney Houston, and 400 Croatians watched on in silence as the pop star, one American and one Australian belted out the tune. After our performance we thought that the girls had been gone for quite a while. We found them chatting at a table nearby. We drank a few more beers. End scene. Next scene, 4 naked tourists in the water only metres from the pop concert. End scene. Next scene, somehow at home.

We had a slow afternoon but made our way into the old town, which was really beautiful. We took it easy, and had an early evening. We had decided that the best way to see Croatia was to take a cruise around the Islands. So we searched hard around Dubrovnik, around the marina, asked people in the know – and got nowhere. So we hopped on a bus and made the journey to Split, where we thought we’d have more luck getting a cruise.

The hostel was terrible, and Split didn’t really appeal to us much. We searched and searched for 2 days for cruises, but to no avail. So we decided to just head out and island hop ourselves. We caught the ferry from Split to Korcula, one of the larger islands off the coast of Croatia. We landed, and the hostel was directly in front of the port, which was ideal. Super cool hostel run by a South African guy. We noticed that we could hire a boat through the hostel for 400 kuna which is about $50 AU, split between 4, included all fuel, snorkelling gear, and we could have it till the sun went down. Bargain. So we locked it in for the following day.

KO-315

KO-315 was the name of our boat, and our relationship with the boat spanned 2 days.

We were escorted to our boat, and frankly thought it looked like a piece of junk. We loaded it up with booze, were given brief instruction, we were asked whether we had experience boating – of course we had (of course we hadn’t), and we set off towards the islands. Omit and I had purchased Captains hats and so naturally we took charge. We set off at full power, and we could feel all 4 horses propelling as along. Our first stop was about 30min from Korcula. It was a small barren island with only one bald fat naked man sitting on his beach chair, and other than him, it was just us. The water was crystal clear, a picture straight from a postcard. We were all alone (almost), in calm waters, surrounded by a huge amount of fish and sea urchin. The sun was shining, and there was nowhere else in the world I’d rather have been. We snorkelled around, swam about, went diving for sea urchin, sun baked, relaxed – and cracked our first beers. After a couple of hours, we decided to set sail to somewhere new. The freedom was amazing, no one else in sight, hopping from island to island, no way a cruise could have been better than this. A number of times during our journey, we were cruising along at full speed and we decided to just dive off the boat. We found a new spot, anchored, ate lunch, and just kept doing what we did best. We hopped and hopped all day. Gradually getting more and more drunk as the day went on. At one point the boat ran into the rocks slightly and all of a sudden the motor wasn’t right. In fact it was stuffed. But we continued on. The sun was starting to drop, along with our co-ordination and motor skills. We were heading back towards Korcula harbour, but we decided to stop somewhere about 15min out and watch as the sun set. So we watched in awe, jumped in and out of the boat continued to drink then drive the boat back. When we arrived back in the harbour, it was well and truly dark. The motor was stuffed such that when full throttle was applied, the propeller would spin freely, and the engine would SCREAM. So with me at the controls, we tried to discreetly pull in the boat without drawing attention to the broken motor. No such luck. I can count the number of times I’ve driven a boat on one hand, in fact, on one finger. So pulling the boat in to a mariner, dark, motor stuffed, and 4 litres of beer and ample vodka in the system, did not go so well. I almost smashed into about 46 luxury cruisers (albeit at 1.5km/h) motor screaming, everyone else screaming, and everyone emerged from their cabins to see what all the commotion was about. Eventually another boat had to tow us in. The ultimate moment of shame. We confessed to the boat owner (let’s call him Nikola) that we ‘may’ have had some trouble with the engine. But we played dumb. What took place next will stick with me as some of the most awkward and yet hilarious moments of my life. Omit and I helped Nikola remove the motor from the boat. He had unscrewed it and commanded us to ‘lift’, and as we did, we may or may not have crushed his hand (and sliced it open) oops. But we took it inside the mechanic shop and set it up. Nikola told us that we had busted the propeller, and we would need to pay to replace the part. We were drunk, stubborn and in no mood. So we started to debate the point that we felt the product was faulty when he gave it to us, and it was merely wear and tear that caused it to break, and we therefore didn’t feel that we should be required to pay for the damages. We were inside the mechanic shop when the shop owners wife came out with a broom and chased us out telling us to have our arguments outside. So we went outside. Nikola was starting to get a little worked up, and he all of a sudden started changing his tune. He said “I have a family” and “this makes me very sad”. We watched as Nikola started to breath heavily, start to tear up, and then turn around and start coughing. “Are you ok Nikola?” “Yes, I’m just very sad of this.” He then proceeded to throw up in front of us, several times. What would you do in this situation? Very awkwardly I gave him a pat on the back and said “........it’s ok, everything’s fine”. It worked though on his part. We paid up, fixed the boat, shook hands and said “same time tomorrow Nikola?”

The following day we rocked up at 11am and there was KO-315 sitting in all her glory fixed and ready to go. Plus we got a 50% off discount. So again we loaded her up and made our way out to sea. The day started a little slower than the day before, we headed to our first spot from the previous day, and unfortunately there was a bunch of boats sitting there, slowly we muscled our way into the little cove and the other boats gradually began to leave. We had learnt from the previous day that we needed a knife to go diving for Sea Urchin, plus we brought along some lemon to accompany. Not really my thing, but Omit gutted one sea urchin, whom became the KO-315 mascot ‘JOE’.

The day followed the same basic pattern as the previous day, and we somehow managed to get ourselves as drunk, if not more so then the previous day. I remember at one stage drinking vodka shots out of Joe. The day came to an end as we slowly, slowly cruised back into the harbour, docked perfectly and tied up the boat. I don’t recall but I’m told as I was standing on the edge of the boat, unpacking it, I started to ever so slightly lean back towards the water, in slow motion my arms started to wave, then wave faster and gradually I tumbled backwards into the water. I climbed out, beer still in hand, hat still on, being yelled at by the harbour master for swimming in the mariner. I don’t recall this.

We sadly bid farewell to Joe and to KO-315. Much of the evening was a blur from here, we went for dinner somewhere. We have footage of Omit and I riding around on toy cars. We apparently offended an elderly Croatian man enough for him to call the police (at least he pretended to). My recollection was that we were talking to loud. Old people.

The worst part was the 6am ferry we had to catch the next morning. Sarah came to wake us at 5:30 and simply from the smell of Omit and I, it caused her to be physically sick in the toilet. The boat ride was rough, crowded and the longest hour of my life. We arrived in Hvar, made our way to the hostel, where we passed out on beach chairs all morning. We spent the whole day getting our lives back in order, and having an evening without alcohol.

Hvar is generally known as the party island in Croatia, but we definitely treated Korcula as our party island. So in Hvar we lazed on the beach, roamed the old town and the castle, visited a couple of the islands during the day on a water taxi and just enjoyed the hot weather. We did one evening decide to take a trip to Carpe Diem – a club on an island; the only thing on the island. Unfortunately for us, boats didn’t even start heading over there till 1:30am. So we had some drinks with dinner, and tried to maintain a high level of excitement but all were a little too relaxed. However, it hit 1:30 and we walked down to the wharf and made our way over to the island. It was really cool, to be on an island, and have a huge outdoor club, swimming pool in the middle etc. We spent a few hours there before deciding we didn’t have the energy to keep going, so we headed home.

We enjoyed some great times in Croatia and it is definitely one of my favourite countries. I decided after Croatia to go off and travel by myself for a few weeks, and let Sarah and Al do their thing. So early in the morning Alison and Sarah caught a bus, a ferry and a plane to arrive in Prague. Omit and I slept in, caught a ferry in the afternoon, then I caught an overnight train to Slovenia, and Omit an overnight ferry to Italy. So we had all gone our separate ways, and started our next chapter.